Why we spank our children & what the Bible says about it!

My husband and I were 20 and 22 when we first got married.  We had kids almost immediately. Even though we were young, we loved Jesus with all of our hearts and wanted to raise our kids to do the same.

Lifestyle blogger, Onlygirl4boyz, shares some great tips on how to spank your children, why they do it, the impact it's had on their kids and what the Bible says about it.

We were both spanked as children. We realized it taught us amazing life lessons while not creating fear in any way.  We do believe discipline is very important in the younger years. So, I want to share with you why and how we spank our children.  Most importantly, I’m sharing what the Bible says about it.

We spank our children because the Bible tells us to.

First and foremost, we believe EVERYTHING in the Bible.  We do not pick and choose what we decide to believe and form our own opinions on different topics.  Yes, we fall short constantly of what we know we should be doing. At the same time we never debate what God’s word says and we try our best to follow it.

Proverbs 13:24 says ” Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Version)

Proverbs 29:15 says “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Version)

These are just a few of the verses we have seen so much truth in.  We love our kids enough to follow God’s word on how to raise them. We might not really like it or it might not make us feel great. In the end, their souls are what matters since we have such a short period of time to train them up in Christ.

We show our kids God’s love before, during & after a spanking.

I was raised in a household that modeled Godly love any time I was spanked.  My dad would always tell me he is spanking me because, he loves me.  He would never raise his voice or do it in anger.  He would always hug and love on me afterwards.  This is exactly how we have treated our children.

Spanking is not meant to harm the child in any serious way.  It is meant to cause temporary pain that   leaves no marks of any kind.  Just enough to show them their actions are wrong.  Also, to associate pain with those actions.  This is incredibly effective with toddlers that do not understand long explanations but, right and wrong in the simplest manner.

We briefly explain to them why their behavior equates to a spanking and what a better choice would of been.  We share that this is a consequence for the choices they made.  Then we spank them and hug them tightly afterwards, explaining that we don’t like to do this but, because we love them we have to show them there are painful consequences for bad behavior.

Ephesians 6:4 says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Everything does not deserve a spanking.

We teach our children that every behavior good or bad has a consequence. In our home spanking is the ultimate consequence because it causes some pain.  We also use time outs, going to bed early and taking away privileges.  Age really determines how effective each method is as well because it’s not going to be as effective to a 14 year old as it is for a 3 or 4 year old.

Spanking should not be the consequence for every behavior.  We decide to spank for things that are really toxic, if the behavior continues such as: hitting or harming anyone else, acting out in anger continuously (yelling at us, throwing stuff ), continuous disobedience and defiance, and lying.  For most other behaviors we use “time- outs.”

Spanking teaches God’s love for us.

Hebrews 12:11 says “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

We have all experienced this as God’s children.  There are times when we make bad choices, and we still have to live with those consequences but, when we look back we are grateful for the hard times and what it produced in us.  The most growth tends to come from the most painful times.  This is the same for our kids.  They don’t learn lessons on what pleases God by getting a dissertation, but by realizing that there are pain in our consequences but God gives us a unconditional love and a new chance every time.  As parents we should do the same.

Spanking is effective.

We have a toddler, but we also have two boys that are 9 and 11.  Now that we are doing way less spankings than in the ages 2-6, we have really seen so much pay off.  We have always received a lot of compliments on their behavior. Even as toddlers they know how to sit in church because, we were consistent whether in public or at home on giving consequences for bad behavior.

We saw, at a young age, them starting to make good decisions and having less misbehavior because of the spankings and overall balance with discipline.

This made for a happier, less stressed out, mama because I wasn’t dealing with crazy tantrums and disrespect every day. They were starting to “get it. ”  Also, as they went to school, their perspectives seemed to be more mature.  They have started realizing there are consequences in every stage of life and that we alone are responsible for those actions.

All children desire a balance of love and discipline in their homes and the early childhood years are so crucial in determining how your child will respect authority, treat others and conduct themselves for the rest of their lives.  We fail our children when we don’t help direct their actions to that of Christ.  Children do not naturally know how to live for Christ.  Spend a day with a toddler in the “terrible two’s” and you will easily see that.  The Bible says in Proverbs 22:15, ” Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

Spanking is not something that my husband or I have ever enjoyed, but we pray that it will impact their lives for the better.  All we can take is the instruction God gives us on various issues in parenting and leave the rest in His hands because, they really are His anyways.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

For more articles on parenting, check out “How to raise grateful kids.”

Why we spank our kids and what the Bible says aabout it

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34 Comments:
February 16, 2017

I completely agree. I love how you used these verses to back up your reasoning. I hate spanking my kids I cry after I do, but I agree that in the long run I am helping him realize his wrongs. Great read! God bless!

February 17, 2017

Yes, it is hard as a mom because, we just want to love on them constantly but, discipline is good for them so they won’t be “disciplined” by the world 🙂

February 17, 2017

Your boys are beautiful! I really appreciate your point of view on this subject. We’re just getting into the toddler phase and I think the biggest thing we need to work on is consistency in discipline. I’ll be the first to admit I am a softy. We did time out for the times he would climb on top of his train table and it worked. He no longer climbs on the table! We were consistent in punishment.

February 17, 2017

Yes, I totally get it! Consistency is a challenge for us all! I’m sure you are doing a great job!

February 17, 2017

Great post in why some parents spank their children and the proper way to discipline. Much needed in todays world.

February 17, 2017

Thanks so much for reading!

February 17, 2017

I think you make all valid points. I too believe in spanking. I hate doing it and I now understand what my mother meant when she said this hurts me more than you. I use to hate when she said it but now i get it. I also think it depends on the child. My daughter literally would straighten up with a look, until she got older and got testy. My son is testy now in the toddler phase and is really unphased by spankings. We have to do what we are called to do as parents, and find what works.

February 17, 2017

Yes, totally agree and every child is different but, it is an effective tool for strong willed children and most of us have one lol

February 17, 2017

You are so right! Thank you!

February 17, 2017

Thanks!!

February 17, 2017

I appreciate how you brought everything back to scripture. Spanking isn’t for everyone but it’s very important to understand the biblical principle. When taken out of context people talk about corporal punishment and equate that to this and it’s not the same at all!!!!!!

February 17, 2017

Yes! exactly! When done Gods way scripture is at the center of it all!

February 17, 2017

Love how you broke everything down. Thank you for sharing this, and having the courage to.

February 17, 2017

I really appreciate that!! Thank you!

February 17, 2017

This is a well written post on an important topic. Thanks for writing this and sharing, Jehava. 🙂

February 17, 2017

Thank you! I appreciate that!

February 17, 2017

Thank you for sharing! Wise words. I was spanked as a child… turned out pretty well!

February 17, 2017

LOL! Yes me too! Thanks for sharing!

February 17, 2017

Beautifully said! I totally agree with you and know first hand how awesome the boys are you are raising. Continue to do what God has called you to do as their mother. I think my favorite part was when you said, “First and foremost, we believe EVERYTHING in the Bible. We do not pick and choose what we decide to believe and form our own opinions on different topics.” We live in a society that likes to pick everything apart, especially God’s word. Such truth in love. ?

February 17, 2017

Thanks so very much ayanna! That means a lot and thanks for the encouragement!

February 18, 2017

We very rarely spank, but the kids know it’s on the table. The most important things that you mentioned are that love is shown throughout the process with an explanation and a hug, and that it is never done out of anger. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this tough topic!

February 18, 2017

Thanks so much! Yes, love is the key in discipline for sure!

February 18, 2017

This is a great post. Spanking your kids is good for them, they need it especially on this society we are in. They need to know what is right or wrong because kids without discipline always end up somewhere bad . My husband and I we do spank our kids, and then we explain to them why. I love this post lady. thank you for sharing this.

February 18, 2017

Thanks for the support! Yes I totally agree.

February 18, 2017

You are SO BRAVE to write this! We also spank sometimes – but it is our last resort punishment option – and EVERYONE has something to say about it. I love how you stick to your guns and your convictions!

February 18, 2017

I really appreciate that and yes we do rarely too when it is necessary. Definitely more in the toddler years where the defiance tends to be way higher than other ages.

February 20, 2017

This is certainly a controversial topic. I think it’s really important for children to understand firm boundaries. Sometimes they are not capable of calmly and rationally having a discussion and a parent needs to get a firm hold of the situation. It actually helps a child to be able to stop.

February 20, 2017

Yes definitely true!

February 21, 2017

This was a very brave post! You explained your reasoning beautifully and broke it down in such a simple way. I definitely agree with your points here! Especially disciplining out of love – I think that part is particularly important when disciplining children. <3

February 21, 2017

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! Love is definitely the key!

February 22, 2017

It was surely brave to post about something so controversial. My parenting style may be different from yours, but I surely don’t fault you for doing what works for your family. I believe this is one of those topics that has gotten really out of hand in regards to moms judging one another.

February 22, 2017

I totally agree with you! Thanks for sharing!

February 22, 2017

I so appreciate how honoring God and showing His love to your kids is the ultimate goal of your parenting! That’s such a powerful example, regardless of discipline method! Your courage in sharing this is inspiring!

February 22, 2017

Yes that is the only goal that matters! Thank you!!

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