*Reposted*
I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom. I went to college to eventually work full-time, fulfilling my dreams in the corporate world. Little did I know, God had other plans for me.
The “college me” is much different from the “mommy me.” I had my first son right out of college, and everything about me has changed. My faith, my goals, my friendships, even the way I use my time changed. Praise God for change!
I truly did not like the person I was. I became a new mom at 20. I immediately kicked into mom mode and tried to learn as much as possible to be the best parent I could . God put older mom’s around me that truly guided me during this stage and helped me transform into the type of mom God wanted me to be.
Becoming a Stay At Home Mom
I was working at a large regional bank throughout my pregnancy. When I had my first child, I went back to work at 6 weeks. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. We needed my insurance because, at the time, my husband was in commission-only car sales. I literally cried every day and didn’t know what was wrong with me. I also happened to have a boss who didn’t understand what it meant to be a new mom. To them, pumping at work was a break for me, or a reason to get out of work activity. Meanwhile, there was somehow, much more understanding for co-worker’s smoke breaks than for me pumping my baby’s milk for the next day.
I listened to a message from church during those first few weeks. The preacher talked about being a stay at home mom verses a being a working mom. In this message, I loved the way there was no condemnation for either role. The speaker said to pray that God would show you specifically what you should do for those specific children. It would be a different prayer for everyone.
After I prayed this prayer, I was not too thrilled with the answer. I had a deep feeling in my gut that it was best to stay home. I wasn’t sure how long, but knew this was needed for these specific children God had given me.
I had such a hard time, especially the first few years, because I felt the role didn’t “fit” me. I am outgoing and need to be around people…. I went to college for a reason…and how would we financially make it?! So many concerns. So much doubt.
Remember, I was right out of college. I didn’t really know a ton of stay at home moms and none were in my age range. I had a lot of “stay-at-home-mom” stereotypes.
I thought they ate snacks, watched TV all day, and sat around the house incredibly bored.
OMG!! Was I in for a rude awakening!
I couldn’t even conceive how much work it was, how exhausted I would be, how much I would envy my husband for having a lunch break or just getting to ride in a car alone at some point in the day. I struggled with so many things, but at the end of the day, I had a beautiful peace knowing I made the choice I knew God impressed upon my heart.
There were so many months that were tight financially. It was rare for our budget to even work out on paper. It appeared that there wasn’t enough money, but I knew this was what God told me to do.
I panicked almost monthly and constantly wrestled with going back on my decision. I thought of stay at home moms as weaker women. I felt the need to always tell people I was only going to do it for a very limited amount of time. However the years stretched on and God kept telling me to stay.
I am amazed what God does when you trust Him. Even when it doesn’t make sense and isn’t what you even want to do.
We were NEVER late on any bill, we NEVER struggled for food… it didn’t make sense on paper. Every month we gave it to God and He miraculously worked it out! We were still even able to do vacations, go on dates, and have birthday parties. It does not make sense, but that is why we knew it was always God. He has been so faithful.
We held tight to Psalm 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. He was faithful to keep us and gave us “abundantly more than we could ever ask for.”
It seemed like every stay at home mom I met had a husband who made amazing money. Any normal mom felt like there was no way they could afford to even do it, even though their income was still more than ours. They couldn’t go on vacations or do anything else and felt they were barely surviving.
The lesson I learned from this was important. When God is your reason and your focus for the decisions you make, no matter what they may be, He honors this. He will bless you abundantly. He will keep you. He is faithful.
I have lived such a full life over these last 11 years because of being able to stay home with my kids. It had benefited me in ways I could have never imagined. Seeing the “fruit of your labor” as your kids get older is priceless. Being able to see that choice pay off is such an amazing blessing.
God has blown our minds over these years in ways we would have never been able to see if that decision wasn’t made. He’s guided me on how to live frugally and within our means, how to still be able to be social and use my gifts with other women who are home, how to be content and not make money our God, and how to trust Him like never before.
It’s an amazing place to be (even thought it may not feel that way at the time), really seeing God as the source for everything you receive. I believe that is why the Bible talks about it being hard for a rich man to get into the kingdom of God. Not because making money is bad, but it’s harder to see Him, when you can depend on your own abilities to make money. Or you see your lavish bank accounts as a source of provision.
Becoming a stay-at-home mom puts you in a place of leaning on God as your source and seeing Him as the ONE that provides your needs. Physically, Emotionally and Financially. Being reliant on Him is an awesome thing and takes you to another level in your relationship with Him.
I encourage every mom to pray what God wants you to do for your little ones. Your journey may be very different from mine. One thing I do know is that when you put your cares and concerns in His hands, when you take a leap of faith, when you trust Him, He will bless you in an amazing way!
For more articles on staying home, check out “5 tips to thrive as a stay at home mom.”
90 comments
Andrea
If one is doing that, or any kind of big thing, one’s gotta rely on God! 🙂
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes I totally agree! No matter what choice you make!
shan walker
It IS huge! I remember the nervousness and worry at first AND my decision to just trust. Best decision for me – ever! Congrats.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
YES! I love it so much! Definitely have to trust God through it all!
Ashley Stephenson
My friend had a baby in October and went back to work in January for about 2 months and she is now in her 3rd week as a stay at home mom and she absolutely loves it. Just the other day I asked her exactly what she did during the day, especially since the baby is only about 6 months, and she went and told me and I said oh well that doesn’t seem too bad and she said I’m not done, I am only at 1pm..that is when I realized I have so much more respect for stay at home moms!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
LOL!! That is hilarious! Yes the list is never ending for sure!
Tara L
I think being a stay at home mom is the best thing for you and your kids especially until they are in school full day. I would always think I would miss something as they were young, and I’m glad I didn’t because being with my son when he was a baby was the best thing ever rather then working (:
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes, I’ve enjoyed my journey so far!
Amy Crooks
It was so great to read about your journey so far. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, as it will help others out there! I have loved being a stay at home mom to raise my son. Many blessings to you and your family! 🙂 God is great!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
That’s awesome! Thanks for reading and for the encouragement!
Sara Brunsvold
Great encouragement to have hope! As someone who also made that switch, I appreciated you sharing very much. Curious if you ever felt pressure from yourself or your husband to make money in those times when things felt so lean.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
That’s awesome! I actually didn’t from my husband but maybe more from myself. Feel free to email me if you want to chat more! Thanks for reading!
Alexandra
Isn’t it amazing how God can make work out what doesn’t “work out on paper”? He always blesses obedience. Love the pic of you and your boys!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thanks so much! Yes, He is truly faithful!
cheryl
I never planned to be a stay at home either. I did it for 10 years until I divorced. I loved my experience even though it felt like it’s own full-time job! It was easily the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Being a single mom is a close second. It’s more challenging, but just as rewarding.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes, I’m sure you do an amazing job at each role you were given. We all do the best we can!
Meredith
I went back to work part-time when my oldest was about 8 months old, and transitioned to a full-time SAHM when my daughter was born, about a year and a half later. Some days are really hard. I have an unending to-do list, especially now that I’ve been working on building my own business much more. But, I wouldn’t change a thing. My children are only going to be little once, and being with them is the right thing for me. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes, the time they are small is so short.. thanks for sharing!! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Ayanna @ 21FlavorsofSplendor
Love this!! So open, honest, and encouraging. Becoming a SAHM is definitely a leap of faith for a lot of us, but so worth the leap. Trusting in God to provide for our families is so important for all moms.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thanks love for the encouragement!! Yes for sure!
Andrea
May God bless you with blessings for making the right choice!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thank you.. I believe it was for my kids and everyone is different.
Jill
I absolutely loved reading every.single.word. I became a single mom at 23 and can so relate to being a young mom. Thank you for the reminder that we are not alone in this journey. God is good. Have a wonderful weekend, friend. XO
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Aww thanks so much for your sweet words! He is so very good!
Adree
Love this post! Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs I have ever had. Some days I wish I could switch places with my husband so he gets to be with the kids all day. But in the end I’m so grateful that I get to be with my kids everyday. It would be so hard to miss out on the little moments each day.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes I couldn’t agree more! Husband jealousy is so real.. lol
Jen @ Saving with Spunk
What a great perspective on being a SAHM. I want to stay home one day so I’m working on building a business that will give me the income and flexibility to do that. Loved this.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
That is awesome girl! Good luck with all your decisions!
Leah | Five for the Road
I love being at home with my kids and wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is my true calling for sure.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes! I feel the same!
Mel McLellan
Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thanks so much!
Vanessa
I love your insight on motherhood! Also, you have adorable boys!!!! I think it was a great idea that you listened to God. He sure knows best! :0
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thanks so much girl! Really appreciate it!
Lisa Benavidez
Love everything about this post! God truly has greater plans for us! I also had my first baby at 20 and I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I ended up working at home with her and still do today with all three of my girls! 🙂 You are an inspiration! Being a SAHM is such a tough job!!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
That’s awesome! Yes I definitely work at home too and it is such a balance! Thanks so much for reading and the encouragement!
Meg
I LOVE your perspective on this topic. As you point out, it’s important to acknowledge that everyone’s journey will be different and for some moms the right answer is to work outside the home. But I had a similar feeling as yours, that being at home with my boys is the best place for me to be right now. As much as the days are sometimes long and hard, I am so grateful that I get to be there for all their learning and growth during this pivotal time in their lives. When we put God in charge, he makes much more out of our lives than we ever would have done on our own. 🙂
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes, God can guide each mom differently and this is what I knew He wanted for me. You are so very right about everything you shared! Thanks for reading!
Samantha
Transitioning into a stay at home can be tough, it certainly was for me! When I think about all of the things I would have missed if I continued to work full time, I then realize how lucky I am that I can stay home. It’s challenging and rewarding, days can be long and hard, but also so fun and filled with moments you will cherish forever!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes you describe it perfectly!! I couldn’t agree more!
LeNae
Your story rings so true for me! I never thought I would stay at home with children. My work was my identity! After my daughter Zayda was born, everything changed, and I made the huge decision to stay home. It has been tough, especially financially. But your so right, God has somehow always provided!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
That is so awesome to hear! Yes, He is so faithful when we follow what He wants us to do!
Lauren
I love this: “When God is your reason and your focus for the decisions you make, no matter what they may be, He honors this.”
Keeping Him at the center of decision-making is so important (and also so challenging)! I loved reading about your experience. I’m in the praying and waiting stage of deciding if I’m going back to work or not1 🙂
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thanks so much girl! Prayers for you as you make whatever choice is best for your family!
Kelly
I love this. God calls us to so many different roles. Whatever he calls us to, He will bless. He uses us where we are. Great post!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
He truly does! Thank you!!
Emily
This is so beautiful! We have also found that trusting God is key to making this work. He always comes through and provides us with opportunities or solutions we couldn’t have come up with ourselves. Glad you found peace and joy in your role at home.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
YES! I totally believe He gives us wisdom when we trust in Him!
Stephanie
Thank you for sharing your story. I think this is an area so many mom’s struggle with and you have a lovely perspective on it.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Thank you so much!
Patricia
I love this so much! I had no intentions of being a stay at home mom either, until our first was born. I felt so torn about the decision but God is with us, and He has beenevery step of the way!!!
jehava.brown@gmail.com
Yes! He truly is in whatever choice each mom makes!
Sheila
God is so good! It has been a dream of mine to be able to stay at home with my children since I was in high school and was confused about why I didn’t have any crazy career goals for the future. All I wanted was to be a wife and a mama. I did end up going to school for a teaching degree, but I hope to use it to homeschool my children.
jehava.brown@gmail.com
That is awesome! Yes, I’ve realized I can use all my gifts and education right at home as well!
Diedre
God never ceases to amaze me. I’d love to be a stay at home at some point, but financially it isn’t possible now. Thank God that you are in a season where you can be available to your children. My mom was a stay at home mom and I loved it.