5 ways to build a BETTER friendship with your husband

I talk to so many women that want their marriages to get better and are just in a season of struggling to love, or even like their spouse.  Whenever I fall into the same “space” I realize that it is usually our friendship that is lacking.  That is truly the basis for everything because, the looks and “spark” are not going to be there every day, but a solid friendship is what really grows the love between two people.

Better Friendship With Your Husband

Without a doubt I would say that Titus (my husband) is truly my best friend and the best “best friend” I have ever had.  He has shown me without a doubt that he loves me unconditionally and will always there for me.  He looks past all of my flaws and encourages me to be what God has called me to be.  He is always my shoulder to lean on, my encouragement, my spiritual leader and so much more.  Just like any marriage, we have our ups and downs but there are certain things that I realize have helped us in times of needing to get our friendship back on track.  So, here are 5 ways to build a better friendship with your husband:

1.  Take time to talk daily.

Every night we take time to sit on the couch and just talk.  We talk about our days, our ups and downs and just listen to the other person honestly vent.  Just like any friendship, being able to be open and real with another individual about what is going on in your life strengthens your bond.  The same works for husbands and wives.

As many spouses have very different routines it is important to take this time.  I am a stay at home mom and he works in the financial industry and, there are so many different experiences we both have during the day.  We need this time to decompress and share with each other.  It leaves us feeling more connected and involved in the other persons day!

2.  Be silly.

Life is way too serious in it’s self.  There is always something you can worry or stress over.  I can tend to be the more serious one, while my husband seems to always be relaxed and playful.  However, I’ve realized that being able to be relaxed and silly more often helps us build a better friendship.  When you were dating, you were most likely more laid back and laughed more because, there weren’t as many pressures and areas of stress to think about.  Force yourself to let go and just laugh together, watch a funny show together or make jokes and tickle each other.  Let loose and you will see your hearts bond together.

3.  Text/call each other during the day.

There are so many couples I talk to who do not speak at all during the times of 9-5 but, the reality is that if you were dating (even with a full time job) you would find every free minute to reach out and see how the other person is doing.  We send each other texts throughout the day.  Some days more than others but, we always try to connect just to see how the other person is doing and check on them.

When any of my girlfriends reach out to see how I am and show they care about what’s going on in my life it means a lot and, it strengthens our friendship.  The same goes for our friendship in marriage.  The more you talk, and show you care and are thinking of that person during your daily routine it brings you closer together in friendship!

4.  Go do something fun together.

My girlfriends and I do “girls nights” to just get out of the house and have some fun, kid-free! There is something about hanging out where you can talk openly in a fun atmosphere that just forms a bond that is deeper than hanging out when your watching kids, or multitasking a bunch of different things.

In our marriage, doing dates is so important and life giving to our relationship.  There are times that we have let the time go too far and I’ve seen our marriage suffer.  However, when we keep dates as a priority we thrive in our relationship.  Having time without our kids, where we dress up for the one another and just have uninterrupted conversation really strengthens our friendship.  Whether we go out to eat, to a play, on a walk, or rock climbing, just having time to remember what we like about each other  is important for our marriage to thrive.

We also go away every year for our anniversary even on a tight budget and, it helps us remember every year that our relationship has to come first or everything else in our household will suffer.

5.  Pray for one another.

I truly pray for my closest friends or anyone who shares with me a struggle they are going through.  I also let them know that I am praying for them so they know that I care.  When my husband tells me he is praying for me, my heart could burst.  As a christian, there is no greater sign of love for me than knowing you care about my spiritual life and growth! I pray for my friends for things they share and don’t share with me.  As you get close to people, you can see some things they might struggle with that they might not share and I look to pray for those things as well.

This is exactly what I do for my husband.  I let him know daily that I am praying for him.  I also pray for what he shares and what he doesn’t.  The struggles I see, the things we don’t talk about and the things that we do.  I pray for every aspect of his life, his heart, his mind and his soul.  I pray for our marriage and our friendship to grow and glorify God.  I believe that this is the biggest factor in strengthening our friendship.  Praying that God will show me how to be a good friend and wife to him and every day I see different ways to do that.

Marriage is hard work because, you have two flawed individuals blending their lives together.  Both have many faults and neither is perfect so it takes work to build the love and friendship between the two.  I really think focusing on these 5 steps helps grow a deeper friendship in marriage.  It’s all about being intentional.  After 11 years, these are all things I still have to remind myself to work on daily and be proactive about to help our relationship to continue to grow and not get stuck in a funk.  I hope that these will help you as well!

If your looking for more tips to help bring the flame back to your marriage, check out 10 tips for spicing up your marriage!

Feel free to comment below with more tips to help build a better friendship with your spouse! I love hearing your opinions and we can always use more tips as well!

Thanks for reading!

For more tips of marriage, check out “10 Tips for Spicing up your marriage.”

 

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5 ways to a better friendship with your husband
5 ways to build a better friendship with your husband
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What do you think?

125 Comments:
September 19, 2016

I love this! For us, we are so tired by the end of the day that it’s easy to just throw on the tv and veg for the next 3 hours! Sometimes that is definitely necessary, but we try to have dinner together at the table with no distractions and sometimes we sit for over an hour just talking. It’s my favorite time to connect! xo

September 19, 2016

Oh we all have nights like that! LOL but, we try our best to connect more often! Thanks for sharing!

September 19, 2016

Love this! My husband and I are coming up on our first anniversary and I’m so happy that we are best friends. I look forward to our friendship lasting a lifetime. You and your husband are so cute!

September 19, 2016

Congrats! Yes, if you keep it a priority it will!! Thanks so much!

September 19, 2016

Remember why you fell in love and revisiting those places are great ideas. Being silly and texting are fun ideas too 🙂 my favorite is #5

September 19, 2016

Thanks so much!!

September 19, 2016

Thanks for this much needed reminder Jehava! 26 yrs September 29th and committed to our marriage covenant. Thank you for the encouragement!

September 19, 2016

Wow! How amazing! Congrats!! Thanks for reading!

September 19, 2016

What an awesome blog post. You have made me realize that in the craziness of my world, I have let some of these important priorities go. Stumbling to share!

September 19, 2016

I’m so glad! We all get in those places! Thanks for reading and sharing!

September 19, 2016

The “be silly” part is so important! Sometimes everything can feel so serious and it’s important to remind ourselves we just need to act like kids every now and again. Great post!

September 19, 2016

I know i struggle with letting loose too! LOL Thanks!

September 19, 2016

Great ideas, some of which I already use. Someone once told me the best thing I can do for my kids is to make my marriage a priority, so I try. For me, praying for my husband has been key to our marriage.

September 19, 2016

Yes, prayer really is! I totally agree! Thanks!

September 19, 2016

I love this list. These are great reminders. Sometimes we forget to have a sense of humor as families.

September 19, 2016

Yes! That is so true! Thanks!

September 19, 2016

This is beautifully written. I love the things it says and I can tell you two love each other a lot. May it continue to grow and be filled with blessings galore.

September 19, 2016

Thanks so much for the encouragement!

September 19, 2016

All these are so important. We hit a rough patch a few years ago and some of these things on this list helped to save us.

September 19, 2016

Yes! Everyone has rough patches but, the effort is what matters! Thanks!

September 19, 2016

Cute post and great reminders!

September 19, 2016

Thanks!

September 19, 2016

These are adorable, and your advice is right on target. I find that the more I get away from these things, the more distant I feel from my husband. Thanks for the reminders. Have a great week!

September 19, 2016

YES exactly! you can always re start these things! It’s never too late! Thanks!

September 19, 2016

A big one for me is being affectionate… It’s so important to touch… When I started dating Marv, holding hands, kissing & snuggling were really big & even now it’s a big part of our communication… Sometimes I wake up really early & sit while he gets ready… We sometimes have to be creative with our time… We have to be intentional in our marriages.

September 19, 2016

YES!! That’s awesome and great tip for sure it is so important to be intentional! Thanks for commenting!

September 19, 2016

This! Every point is on point! # 5 is my favorite as you can probably guess! 🙂 I have learned that you’ve got to pray for that man. There are so many pressures and distractions that they really need to be covered and smothered in prayer. I love this post and I plan to explore more on your site! Thanks so much for sharing and reminding us that sometimes it’s the simple things that make a HUGE difference.

September 19, 2016

Thanks so much!!!LOL I couldn’t agree more!

September 19, 2016

Awesome advice. Most recently, we have been texting more….even in the house. We joke about texting our boyfriend/girlfriend…lol! Marriage should be fun.

September 19, 2016

AWW that’s so awesome!!

September 19, 2016

Beautiful post, and all the tips are very doable. We have to put inn the work if we want success.

September 19, 2016

YES! I agree! Thanks so much!

September 20, 2016

I love your list and I think talking or texting during the day is a great idea! Being silly and spending quality time together are also so important!
Kyla
Wanderlustkyla.com

September 20, 2016

Yes! That is definitely one of the best things to do for your friendship!

September 20, 2016

Hello Jehava,

I agree with your post – establishing a strong friendship bond with your other-half is very important, coz it helps both of you to fully understand each other.

Me and my boyfriend, became friends at first before we elevate our relationship to the next level. And because we already know each other well, it is normal for us to easy talk about all things, and trust each other.

Kudos for your post!

For Urban Women

September 20, 2016

That’s awesome and I’m glad to hear it! Thanks!

September 20, 2016

I was just thinking about how couples that pray together are much stronger. Thank you for this reminder. We’re coming up on our first anniversary and we work to stay best friends every day!

September 20, 2016

That’s awesome! If you focus on it, you will remain that way!

September 20, 2016

Such great tips!!!! Especially pray for one another and spend time together. With 2 under 2 and one more on the way my husband and I honestly have days where the only thing we say to one another is “what did she eat?”
“Have you changed the baby?” I would love for you to link up with us! http://www.akreativewhim.com/fasting-100-happy-days/

September 20, 2016

LOL That’s awesome I totally understand thanks for sharing!

September 20, 2016

This is solid practical advice! Thank you for sharing it with us. I think it is time for us to go do something fun together.

September 20, 2016

That’s so great to hear! Thanks!

September 20, 2016

Such good tips!!! Adore this!!

http://beyondblessedblog.com/

September 20, 2016

Thanks soo much!!

September 20, 2016

Great tips! We are so much stronger when we prioritize our time together. We love rock climbing too!

September 20, 2016

That’s awesome! Yes, it was one of our super fun dates!

September 20, 2016

So wonderfully written, Jehava. My husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary this year. We are lucky to have and love each other.

September 20, 2016

That’s so fantastic! Thank you!!

September 20, 2016

I’m married to my husband for over 16 years now and everything you mentioned, we do that with each other. The magic still works.

September 20, 2016

That’s so awesome! Congrats and keep up the good work!!

September 20, 2016

Being silly with one another and praying with one another have been so huge for my husband and I. Love this post:) Sharing on Twitter!

September 20, 2016

Thanks for sharing! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

September 20, 2016

Love this! It’s amazing to me how simple each of these things are, and yet how huge of an impact they can have!!!
I particularly love your tip to laugh/giggle together! My husband and I have had a huge financial issue come up the past few days (we suddenly need a new well), and the best part is being able to joke with him through it all.

September 20, 2016

Yes, they are so easy but, are life giving to our marriages! That is awesome when you can find a way to make light of stressful issues as well!

September 20, 2016

Love this! Especially praying for one another…I pray for every body part my man has haha

September 20, 2016

LOL That’s awesome!!

September 20, 2016

All great tips, especially being silly. I find when I take time to text or call my husband over something that happened or fun to bring up, it’s what makes me feel good when he does it to me, too. Makes you feel loved 🙂

September 20, 2016

Yes, it really does! That’s awesome!

September 20, 2016

These are all fantastic tips! Sometimes in the daily bustle we can forget to stop and really listen to our spouse.

September 20, 2016

That is so very true!

September 20, 2016

These are great tips. My husband is my best friend and I never take a day for granted. And these are great ways to keep the spark going!

September 20, 2016

Yes! Very true!

September 20, 2016

These are great tips! My hubby and I always speak to each other during the day on our lunch break. It’s usually only for a few minutes but it makes a big difference.

September 20, 2016

That’s awesome! Yes, ours is just a few minutes too but, makes a big difference!

September 20, 2016

These are great tips! My hubby and I take time every night to Netflix after the kids are in bed.

September 20, 2016

Aww how fun! Thanks so much!

September 20, 2016

This is my favorite sentence: “Marriage is hard work because, you have two flawed individuals blending their lives together.” Two. Flawed. Beings- I needed to see that again today. A marriage is work but it’s worth it! Thank you for the advice!

September 20, 2016

Aww I’m so glad it was helpful to you! It’s a good thing to remember!

September 21, 2016

Thxs great info. My hubby is my best friend. We have so much fun together.